i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
