When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
