I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
