A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
