I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
