hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize