A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
