Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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