She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
