Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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