This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
