How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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