I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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