he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
