so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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