At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just pee around me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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