seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
