girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i came on her dog
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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