Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
BRING THE BAGELS
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
