PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
