So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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