I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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