2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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