I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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