we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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