talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She bit a glass in half.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
