If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
