the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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