one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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