Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
