I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
