walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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