The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
