Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
