You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
