Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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