I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Two words: nipple clamps
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