there was a trapeze. enough said
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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