Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
