Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
