I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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