Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
