Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
