I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
