I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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