My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
