I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
