I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
