no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
