Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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